(soft dramatic music)
Downloaded from YTS.MX
(lion roaring)
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
("Ku-Ku" theme)
(soft jazzy music)
(soft music)
- Mm, mm, mm.
Now aren't you ashamed of yourself?
A man with your supposed intelligence acting
like an empty headed idiot.
What did you do?
I'll tell you what you did.
You took advantage of your wife's absence
and pulled a wild party.
And that's not all.
You lost all of your ready money in a poker game.
Could anything be more crass, more disgusting?
There are times when I had high hopes for you,
but that time is passed.
I'll tell you what's wrong with you
in two words, impossible. (grunting)
(soft music)
(doorbell ringing loudly)
- Mr. Hardy?
- Yes.
- Here's a telegram for ya.
(soft music)
- Now I wonder what this can be.
- Oh, it's a telegram from your wife,
she says she'll be home at noon today.
- Ooh, the house, oh!
(liquid splashing violently)
Aptos eight-o, eight-o, please.
(phone ringing loudly)
(shoe thudding)
(phone ringing loudly)
(metal clanking)
(phone ringing loudly)
- Hello?
- Where have you been?
- I was here with me.
- Why weren't you over to the party last night?
- I couldn't make it, I was bitten by a dog.
- You were what?
- A dog bit me.
- I can't understand ya, spell it.
- A dog bit me.
B, I, it me, bit me.
- Where?
- There.
And they took me to the hospital.
- Get closer to the phone, I can't understand you.
- I said they...
I said they,
they took me to the hospital.
- Was it serious?
- Yeah, the doctor said I might get hydro-phosphates.
- Hydro-phosphates, you mean hydrophobia.
Say, what are you doing?
- Eh?
- What are you doing?
- I'm talking to you, what do you think I'm doing?
- I know you're talking to me.
Say, come on over, I wanna see you,
and make it snappy.
Q.T.
Hydro-phosphates. (grunting)
(bell ringing loudly)
(wires crackling)
- What do ya want?
- Listen, I'm in a slight predicament,
my wife's coming home today at noon unexpectedly
and look at this house.
(soft music)
- What's the matter with it?
- What's the matter with it!
You never met my wife, did you?
- Yes, I never did.
- What do ya mean, yes I never did?
That's my wife.
(soft music)
- Isn't she sweet?
- Charming.
- Where is your wife?
- She's in Chicago with her mother.
- Is she havin' a nice time?
- Sure she's having a nice time,
she's been gone for more than a week.
I don't care whether she's having a nice time or not!
What I mean is, if she comes home and sees this house
like this, she'll know that I've been having a wild party.
- I've never known it to fail.
- What?
- When the mice are away, the cats are always playin' around
and things, and doing something.
If the mice ru-- - I want you to help me
clean this house!
I'd do the same for you.
- No, you wouldn't.
- Yes, I would.
- Oh no, you wouldn't.
- How do you know I wouldn't?
- 'Cause I'm not going to get married.
(soft music)
- Will you help me or will you not?
- Sure, I'll help ya.
What do you want me to do first?
- Now, that's the spirit.
Now, you wash the dirty dishes while I go in and get dressed.
Then after that we'll have a nice breakfast,
put everything in order so that the wife
will suspect nothing.
- Will we have marmalade for breakfast?
- Yes, we'll have marmalade for breakfast.
And we'll put our shoulder to the wheels,
grab the bull by the horns and put
our best foot forward. (chuckling)
(screaming)
(humming cheerfully)
(glass clanking softly)
(screaming)
(dishes crashing violently)
(glasses clanking)
Clean that mess up while I get something to put it in.
- Look out! - Oh!
(soft music)
(blowing loudly)
- Get me a towel.
- Where do you keep 'em?
- I don't know, look in the cupboard!
(soft music)
Wait, I'll get it.
(screaming)
(grunting)
(soft amusing music)
Oh!
(soft music)
(metal rattling)
- Ollie?
- What?
- Where do you keep your handkerchiefs?
- In the top drawer.
(soft amusing music)
(blowing nose loudly)
(wood thudding)
(soft music)
(screaming)
(groaning)
What are you trying to do?
- I'm trying to get rid of this water.
What'll I do with it?
(groaning)
- Use your own judgment.
(groaning)
(water splashing loudly)
Are you trying to ruin the only suit I've got left?
- I couldn't help it.
- Oh, shut up.
That's the way to do it.
(water splashing)
(water splashing loudly)
(groaning)
- How about some breakfast?
(groaning)
- Breakfast! (groaning)
(glass shattering)
- See what ya did?
You can't blame me for that.
- Do you realize that this is the only
suit that I've got left?
It's enough to make a man burst out crying.
- But I couldn't help it,
I was trying to-- - Shut up and get
this mess cleaned up!
Do you know that my wife will be home at noon?
- Say, what do you think I am, Cinderella?
If I had any sense, I'd walk out on ya.
- Well, it's a good thing you haven't any sense.
- It certainly is!
(soft music)
(water splashing violently)
If I had any sense, I'd walk out on you.
Good thing you haven't any.
I certainly.
(soft music)
If I had any sense I'd...
- Take these pants and wring 'em out, while I dry the coat.
(groaning)
(soft music)
(metal clanking softly)
(water splashing lightly)
(gas from oven hissing)
I'll dry them myself.
(soft music)
(door slamming roughly)
(glass shattering)
(soft music)
(groaning)
(loud explosion)
(soft music)
(phone ringing loudly)
- Hello!
- Don't you yell at me!
I'm not deaf!
- Oh, hello honey, baby.
Where are you?
- Where am I?
Why I'm down here at the railroad station,
and if I stay here much longer,
they'll put me in the roundhouse!
- Ooh! - What's a matter?
- Get my suit, quick it's the wife,
she's waiting at the depot!
Oh!
(glasses clanking softly)
(groaning)
(mumbling) That's the only suit I've got!
- What'll you do now?
- I have it!
Get this place cleaned up
and don't ask questions!
Hurry, as quick as you can!
(soft music)
What's the matter?
- You're not going like that, are ya?
- Certainly, why?
- Well you haven't got a horse.
- I don't need a horse,
I've been out there-- (bell ringing)
Oh don't answer it, it's the wife!
Get yourself cleaned up and get outta here quick!
I'll see ya tonight!
(soft music)
(blowing softly)
(soft music)
(liquid splashing lightly)
(soft music)
(wood thudding)
What happened?
Well, I was all ready to leave
and I thought I'd build a nice fire
to make it comfortable for ya.
The house burnt down, and I couldn't help it!
Well, I guess there's nothing else I can do.
- No, I guess not.
- Well, I'll be seein' ya.
- Goodbye.
Hey.
Would you mind closing the door?
I'd like to be alone.
(soft music)
(thunder striking violently)
(soft music)