Downloaded from YTS.MX
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
- Mm, mm, mm.
Now aren't you ashamed of yourself?
A man with your supposed intelligence acting
like an empty headed idiot.
What did you do?
I'll tell you what you did.
You took advantage of your wife's absence
and pulled a wild party.
And that's not all.
You lost all of your ready money in a poker game.
Could anything be more crass, more disgusting?
There are times when I had high hopes for you,
but that time is passed.
I'll tell you what's wrong with you
in two words, impossible.
- Mr. Hardy?
- Yes.
- Here's a telegram for ya.
- Now I wonder what this can be.
- Oh, it's a telegram from your wife,
she says she'll be home at noon today.
- Ooh, the house, oh!
Aptos eight-o, eight-o, please.
- Hello?
- Where have you been?
- I was here with me.
- Why weren't you over to the party last night?
- I couldn't make it, I was bitten by a dog.
- You were what?
- A dog bit me.
- I can't understand ya, spell it.
- A dog bit me.
B, I, it me, bit me.
- Where?
- There.
And they took me to the hospital.
- Get closer to the phone, I can't understand you.
- I said they...
I said they,
they took me to the hospital.
- Was it serious?
- Yeah, the doctor said I might get hydro-phosphates.
- Hydro-phosphates, you mean hydrophobia.
Say, what are you doing?
- Eh?
- What are you doing?
- I'm talking to you, what do you think I'm doing?
- I know you're talking to me.
Say, come on over, I wanna see you,
and make it snappy.
Q.T.
Hydro-phosphates.
- What do ya want?
- Listen, I'm in a slight predicament,
my wife's coming home today at noon unexpectedly
and look at this house.
- What's the matter with it?
- What's the matter with it!
You never met my wife, did you?
- Yes, I never did.
- What do ya mean, yes I never did?
That's my wife.
- Isn't she sweet?
- Charming.
- Where is your wife?
- She's in Chicago with her mother.
- Is she havin' a nice time?
- Sure she's having a nice time,
she's been gone for more than a week.
I don't care whether she's having a nice time or not!
What I mean is, if she comes home and sees this house
like this, she'll know that I've been having a wild party.
- I've never known it to fail.
- What?
- When the mice are away, the cats are always playin' around
and things, and doing something.
If the mice ru-- - I want you to help me
clean this house!
I'd do the same for you.
- No, you wouldn't.
- Yes, I would.
- Oh no, you wouldn't.
- How do you know I wouldn't?
- 'Cause I'm not going to get married.
- Will you help me or will you not?
- Sure, I'll help ya.
What do you want me to do first?
- Now, that's the spirit.
Now, you wash the dirty dishes while I go in and get dressed.
Then after that we'll have a nice breakfast,
put everything in order so that the wife
will suspect nothing.
- Will we have marmalade for breakfast?
- Yes, we'll have marmalade for breakfast.
And we'll put our shoulder to the wheels,
grab the bull by the horns and put
our best foot forward.
Clean that mess up while I get something to put it in.
- Look out! - Oh!
- Get me a towel.
- Where do you keep 'em?
- I don't know, look in the cupboard!
Wait, I'll get it.
Oh!
- Ollie?
- What?
- Where do you keep your handkerchiefs?
- In the top drawer.
What are you trying to do?
- I'm trying to get rid of this water.
What'll I do with it?
- Use your own judgment.
Are you trying to ruin the only suit I've got left?
- I couldn't help it.
- Oh, shut up.
That's the way to do it.
- How about some breakfast?
Breakfast!
- See what ya did?
You can't blame me for that.
- Do you realize that this is the only
suit that I've got left?
It's enough to make a man burst out crying.
- But I couldn't help it,
I was trying to-- - Shut up and get
this mess cleaned up!
Do you know that my wife will be home at noon?
- Say, what do you think I am, Cinderella?
If I had any sense, I'd walk out on ya.
- Well, it's a good thing you haven't any sense.
- It certainly is!
If I had any sense, I'd walk out on you.
Good thing you haven't any.
I certainly.
If I had any sense I'd...
- Take these pants and wring 'em out, while I dry the coat.
I'll dry them myself.
- Hello!
- Don't you yell at me!
I'm not deaf!
- Oh, hello honey, baby.
Where are you?
- Where am I?
Why I'm down here at the railroad station,
and if I stay here much longer,
they'll put me in the roundhouse!
- Ooh! - What's a matter?
- Get my suit, quick it's the wife,
she's waiting at the depot!
Oh!
That's the only suit I've got!
- What'll you do now?
- I have it!
Get this place cleaned up
and don't ask questions!
Hurry, as quick as you can!
What's the matter?
- You're not going like that, are ya?
- Certainly, why?
- Well you haven't got a horse.
- I don't need a horse,
I've been out there--
Oh don't answer it, it's the wife!
Get yourself cleaned up and get outta here quick!
I'll see ya tonight!
What happened?
Well, I was all ready to leave
and I thought I'd build a nice fire
to make it comfortable for ya.
The house burnt down, and I couldn't help it!
Well, I guess there's nothing else I can do.
- No, I guess not.
- Well, I'll be seein' ya.
- Goodbye.
Hey.
Would you mind closing the door?
I'd like to be alone.